Addressing the addressors....

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07-25-2010, 04:57 PM
Unisex

Addressing the addressors....

You know, whenever I see comments like this:

Quote:

And I am a firm believer than you like what you like. But if a man blames others (black women) for why he likes what he likes, that's sad to me. But I'm meeting many brothers who'd rather f*ck other men or "bois" than to be with a black woman. This is really sad! I've met a # of brothers who are receptive to trannies, which is another aspect of the DL lifestyle.

Sighs!

Really? DL Lifestyle? How so? If I'm in public place with a trans-woman, how is that DL? If I'm in committed relationship with a trans-woman, how is that DL? It's more than likely, the reason why certain brothers are turning to trans-women is because it's either;

a) Compatibility: Where she compliments his lifestyle. Meaning, he probably has no desire to have children, or if he has children, he doesn't want anymore.

b) She's unique to his preference. She's all woman (for those trans-women who transitioned and matured), but she's very unique to [non-trans]other women. Which may be a challenge for him as well.

c) He's grown tired of lack of quality from natal females. (this happens more often than not) The baby-mama father drama. The attitude once a month. The emasculation of male that natal women try to pull. Etc, etc.

To be honest with you, a lot of the times you see a brother with a fine ass Trans-sister, it's a reflection of the type of woman he would get with if she was non-trans anyway. So, it's not as if these are some "sha nay nay" looking chics.

It may not even be sexual attraction, entirely. It could be an emotional and spiritual platform they're sharing together. It's not uncommon to see certain brothers have a trans-woman's back during her transition. Loyalty.

I say all that to say this; every black man that is involved with trans sisters are not in someway "DL lifestyle". There are various reasons as I mentioned previously, and until you sit down and have a simple dialogue with these brothers who are involved with trans-women, you won't see the picture for what it really is.
07-25-2010, 07:56 PM
peggygee

I'm of the opinion that there are many natal females that would make good
mates, just as there are many trans females who would.

Conversely, there are many trifling natal females, just as there are trifling trans
females.

My mind-set is that a person should be with the person that they most click with
personality, intellect, spiritually, irrespective of their genital status.
07-25-2010, 11:38 PM
Unisex

Quote:

Originally Posted by peggygee

I'm of the opinion that there are many natal females that would make good
mates, just as there are many trans females who would.

Conversely, there are many trifling natal females, just as there are trifling trans
females.

My mind-set is that a person should be with the person that they most click with
personality, intellect, spiritually, irrespective of their genital status.

This is true. But, in terms of black men dealing trans being labeled as "DL lifestyle" is just utter foolishness if he is open about his relationship. It seems that DL label is only applicable to BM as opposed to the men such as white, Asian, middle eastern, Spanish, etc who have similar relationships with said women.
07-26-2010, 02:59 AM
peggygee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unisex

This is true. But, in terms of black men dealing trans being labeled as "DL lifestyle" is just utter foolishness if he is open about his relationship. It seems that DL label is only applicable to BM as opposed to the men such as white, Asian, middle eastern, Spanish, etc who have similar relationships with said women.

I agree, it seems that the term "DL lifestyle" is only used in conjuction with
Black men.

Quote:

Really? DL Lifestyle? How so? If I'm in public place with a trans-woman, how is that DL? If I'm in committed relationship with a trans-woman, how is that DL?

I do agree with a number of points that you've made, and in this instance it
would be particularly true if the woman doesn't blend or pass well. In that case
the man is as "out" as his mate, and most def not on the downlow.

But when he's with a woman who is stealth and blends well, I wonder if it could
be said that he is on the DL.

Bear in mind that I am a firm proponent of being stealth, and that I don't feel a
woman has to calvalierly divulge her status, and by extension this would apply
to her SO.

But I truly wonder how many guys have the cajones to be in a relationship or in
public with a woman who doesn't pass well.
07-26-2010, 11:55 AM
Unisex

Quote:

But I truly wonder how many guys have the cajones to be in a relationship or in
public with a woman who doesn't pass well.

Should a Trans-woman actually date if she doesn't pass well though?
07-26-2010, 12:41 PM
bigdicki

Quote:

Originally Posted by peggygee

Bear in mind that I am a firm proponent of being stealth, and that I don't feel a
woman has to calvalierly divulge her status, and by extension this would apply
to her SO.

But I truly wonder how many guys have the cajones to be in a relationship or in
public with a woman who doesn't pass well.

Its not that they don't have the cojones but that they just aren't attracted to them. I know I'm not. I went out with a beautiful transgirl last week... she also is 6 feet tall. I honestly never thought whether people clocked her or not (even though I know I probably could have) because I was comfortable with her. So, I think it deals more with the attraction to the person to develop the comfortability level to go out with them and "passability" per se. Just my 2 cents.
07-27-2010, 04:51 AM
peggygee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unisex

Should a Trans-woman actually date if she doesn't pass well though?

Sure, all transwomen aren't meant to be beauty queens, and there's definitely
somebody for everyone.

Though I would hope that the girl who is newly transitioning, or who doesn't
pass well wouldn't set her standards low just because she isn't as advanced
as some of the girls who have been around a while.
07-27-2010, 05:06 AM
peggygee

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigdicki

Its not that they don't have the cojones but that they just aren't attracted to them. I know I'm not. I went out with a beautiful transgirl last week... she also is 6 feet tall. I honestly never thought whether people clocked her or not (even though I know I probably could have) because I was comfortable with her. So, I think it deals more with the attraction to the person to develop the comfortability level to go out with them and "passability" per se. Just my 2 cents.

I think in this "thing of our's" that alot of men want the beauty queen, who is
often a high maintenance chick. Alot of men go for style over substance, and
then they often-times get played, or treated like a walking ATM.

The same is true for alot of the women, they want the cute boy, with little to
no ambition, who can "lay the pipe sexually", but loafs around the house smoking
herb, waiting for the girl to get back from work, to help her spend her money.

Me, I prefer the intelligent brother with honesty and integrity, spirituality, sense
of humor, who can lay the pipe. ;)
07-28-2010, 02:10 AM
Unisex

Quote:

Me, I prefer the intelligent brother with honesty and integrity, spirituality, sense
of humor,

hmmm....interesting...