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A question to the forum: why is it wrong to cheat on your lover or wife ?
I have some theories about why it's wrong and about why it happens anyway, but I'd like to see what the forum says first. And don't just say "it's obvious". You must have some reason beyond that God told you or your Mommy told you.
U put yourself and partner at risk for many stds and/or drama. Pretty much its much more prodtuctive to see what you have, and decide to stay or go.
BUT its gonna happen anyway because one partner feels neglected by the other and wants thats something (which isnt always starting with sex but ends up there eventually with time) or some just want to see for their egos if they actually can.
Also you have your headhunters who take pride in homewrecking and simply dont care so long as everyone isnt happier than them.
Establishing an emotional and physical connection with someone can be an extraordinary experience. So when someone goes and breaks those connections it tends to leave one party ready to grab a knife and get busy. If you don't feel you can be in a monogamous relationship you should say so before hand. Things can be talked out before they ever come to the point of someone getting hurt. And as Bxboy said there's the health risk involved. You can be as careful as you want, but you'll never be guaranteed.
Frankly if I felt the need to cheat on a person ( assuming we were in a relationship where we weren't willing to have other partners of course ) then I'd just break things off... Then sleep around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler
I agree with Cosmic, why hurt someones feelings, waste time, resources, and emotions pursuing a relationship you really don't want. It's fucking bullshit and beyond irritating, especially the obligatory "let's just be friends" crap-tastic line. You want to be hot in the ass, fine, keep it at a one night stand and move on. Don't get people emotionally invested in you when you are really being phoney everyday of your life together!
To be clear, having an open relationship is different and both parties need to be able to handle all that entails. Of course STDS/Drama are also great reasons to not cheat and/or play around, especially if everyone involved isn't being held to the same health/safety standards. You only get one life to live, and you only need to have sex or perform a sex act once to be infected forever!
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Me being the free spirited person I am I tend to be anit-relationship anyway. But as we all know most women don't go for that so...you get what you ask for.
Which is a cheating son of a b*tch. There's no good reason for amoral behavior but this wont change anything. So to make a quote from that farmer and the viper story "Silly woman, you knew I was a snake when you brought me home" And sometimes you betray the ones you care about by being true to yourself.
Which is what it all comes down to..."I'm unhappy but I'm stuck in this situation" is how most people feel that are in bad marriages or in a relationships where "cheaper to keep her" is the current prison sentence.
Outsourcing their affection tends to be the only thing the keeps many from deep depression or suicide.
I personally would just rather stay single and have my cake and eat it to.
A tranny's climax represents the icing...
Here's my take. Sorry it turned into a book ...
Morality is the resolution of a conflict of desires. Morality arose as a set of empirical rules of behaviour which best reconciles this conflict. The rules often get mapped onto a set of religious edicts of the form "thou shalt not" which summarizes the concept for the non-thinker and backs it up with the moral authority of God. From a social standpoint this is useful, but intellectually it is unsatisfying. Basically, morality is a set of social rules arrived at through millenia of experience from societies trying to function in harmony.
If we look at life from a scientific POV, a living system, like a human or an amoeba, is fundamentally a copying operation. Many things can be explained this way, even transexuality, I believe, but I only want to focus on the topic of this thread. The act of copying requires energy. This is because the copying of information, in the form of DNA, requires energy -- a basic theorem about information. The energy here on Earth is supplied abundantly by the Sun. However, at any given time energy is still a precious commodity to be optimized.
For a female, the investment in energy for copying herself is greater than for the male. I don't know why this symmetry-breaking occured, but the fact that it has raises the fascinating question of why there are sexes to begin with. The answer is uncertain, but the prevalent theory is that copying via sex has an advantage over copying asexually because this mixes the DNA, creating more variety, which is then more survivable in an ever-changing environment. Again, this raises the question of why transexuality or homosexuality exists, since they do not lead to copying in their regular expression. I think I can explain these phenomena too, but it would make this already too-long post even longer, so I will defer it. Suffice it to say that homosexual and transexual behaviour map themselves onto heterosexual behaviour, as if mirror images.
The female investment in energy is greater because (for a human) she must spend 9 months incubating the fetus (a biological rule) and she typically invests more energy in the upbringing (a social rule). For the male, the investment in energy is potentially trivial: a hit-and-run sexual act. However, if the female has her act together she can demand that the male invest a significant amount of energy in helping her with this copying operation. If he stays married to her and if he helps her bring up the child to adulthood, then in the end he has invested a similar amount of energy as the female.
Because of the greater energy required by the female for reproduction, she may be more circumspect and conservative in her sexual behaviour. More is at stake for her. For the male, however, it is cheaper (in terms of energy) to adopt a multiple-partner strategy if he can get away with it. And so he may have a long-term partner with whom he copies his DNA, and at the same time seek short-term partners who require less of his time and energy. This might work *if* he is a superior male. But superiority is rare. I'd like to point out that this situation is not unique to humans and occurs at all levels of biology.
Given this asymmetry, why would the female accept a short-term partner ? It may be because he has superior DNA, or it may be because she finds it useful to exploit his desire by extracting money or similar compensation. The latter is clearly the basis of prostitution. Indeed, prostitution arises from the asymmetry between females and males. (And I will grant you that there is male prostitution aimed at females but it is relatively rare.)
And so we come back to the issue of morality. The female's desire in the partnership is for the male to make a substantial investment in his energy and his resources in the child-upbringing. The male's desire may be to adopt the multiple-partner strategy. These two desires are in conflict, and morality is the procedure to try to reconcile them. Meanwhile, nobody really understands this technically, so they map it onto "truths" and "edicts" passed on by authorities, be they religious or senior family members.
You're smartest fucking caveman ever... o __o
But seriously that does make a lot more sense than " Jesus said not to. "
a man who cheats on me is a man who will be castrated.
And I wonder why i'm single. ._. hahahahhaha
jk jk. I love cock too much to cut em off. haha.
but um, you know, sometimes I think about this. I know a lot of men in 'open relationships" and most of them dont work. And well, to me, that sorta shows that I think most of us are wired to be tyed to one person. Maybe it's not wiring, but it's at the very least, culture. lol. I think jealousy is natural and thats the MAIN reason. In all of the open relationships i've observed, none of them have worked unless the open relationships are to fulfill a void the partner can't fill. For example, the girl like girls and the guy like tgirls Tht works because the partners can't fulfill eachother with things they dont have.
but anyways, i think cheating is wrong if youve told the person your with that it isnt. No one likes dishonesty.
^ It's interesting what you say about "open" relationships not working because the few I've known did not work. I guess they thought it would but somehow it does not. I'm not sure how general a trend that is, though.
I think the two main reasons couples break up are cheating and money squabbles. And here I mean cheating that involves lying. There are many people (probably the majority) for whom cheating is a deal-breaker, regardless what other qualities their cheating partner have. There are a few people for whom cheating can be forgiven, or they choose to look the other way even though they suspect something; it depends on the partner's other qualities and various other factors. Like this one guy I know is impotent; his pretty wife eventually cheated on him (with a rough and low-brow immigrant worker several years younger than her who started the affair by crudely propositioning her -- it was bizarre -- but apparently that worker had a lot of stamina in bed according to my insider info !). After that affair failed, she became chaste again (as far as I know) and the couple survived. Weird story. Well anyway, those are my observations.
BTW, cheating is observed in the animal kingdom too. Humans are not alone.
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It sucks to be cheated on