Keelin Godsey, a 28-year-old from Massachusetts who was seeking to become the first openly transgender athlete to represent the United States at the Olympics, failed to qualify for the London Games in the women’s hammer throw competition held here Thursday.
Godsey, who was named Kelly at birth but has publicly identified as a male since 2005, finished fifth in the two-round trials at Nike headquarters, which determined the three members of the United States team. The longest of Godsey’s six throws was his fourth, when he set a personal best of 231 feet 3 inches, but even that was 11 inches short of the third-place finisher and final Olympic qualifier, Jessica Cosby.
Asked afterward what he saw for the future of his athletic career, Godsey hesitated. For nearly eight years, he said, he had looked at the end of this Olympic cycle as the end of his career; he had indicated, too, that he would then begin the medical part of his gender transition, making it impossible for him to continue competing as a female.
But faced with that reality, Godsey hedged. “I don’t know yet,” he said. “I’m trying to make a lot of decisions right now.”
In a telephone interview earlier this week, Godsey’s mother, Renee, said she was optimistic about Godsey’s chances of reaching London. It had been a childhood dream for Godsey, Renee said, and as a mother she wanted nothing more than to see her child achieve that kind of satisfaction.
She added, though, that she understood the larger picture. Godsey faced considerable scrutiny and criticism since coming out as a transgender athlete, and Renee worried about what might happen if his story reached the Olympic spotlight.
“The mother in me wants only positive, and I worry about Keelin being hurt,” Renee Godsey said.
She continued: “A lot of rules have been changed for Keelin to get this far, I understand that. And I understand that a lot of people are going to say that Keelin has advantages. But she was born a female and is still 100 percent female.”
The dichotomy of Godsey’s life, however — competing as female but identifying as male everywhere else — was a challenge. And if Thursday was, in fact, the end of his major competition career, then the expectation is that those challenges may begin to lessen.
For Godsey and the rest of his family, that would be welcome. In a conversation with a reporter, Renee Godsey frequently referred to “Keelin” instead of using pronouns and acknowledged that “of course it has been a transition, as it would be for any parent.”
“But Keelin is so strong,” Renee said. “Keelin is the bravest person I know.”
Erica Rand, who teaches gender studies at Bates College and is the author of the book “Red Nails, Black Skates: Gender, Cash, and Pleasure On and Off the Ice,” had Godsey in her class as a freshman and became a counselor to him as he went through his transition process. Rand said this week that when Godsey “came out, as it were, to athletics and to the college, we did not yet have a policy in place to support trans inclusion. So whatever happens at the trials, he has already been a part of history.”
Godsey, too, pointed to his accomplishments as the reason for not being disappointed Thursday. Yes, the Olympics were a goal, but after being a 16-time All-America honoree at Bates, as well becoming the first openly transgender athlete to seriously compete for an Olympic berth, Godsey recognizes what he has achieved.
“I’ve still done more than most people that are trans have,” he said. “I’ve still competed at a level that most people haven’t. I don’t want to let not making a team be what brings that down.”
Asked again about the future, though, Godsey paused.
“I’ve always said in my head this was probably going to be it,” he said. “But when it’s your life, it’s really hard to say goodbye to it.”
