Why do Men Feel its okay to not be 100% open dating TS

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Originally Posted by thegirlnextdoor

ive been in three committed relationships ever.all of them as a woman.the first guy i dated was kinda in the closet but towards the end of our relationship became more comfortable with being seen with me.we were together for two years.i was very young than and thought that this was the only kind of relationship girls like me could have.
My second boyfriend never had a problem being seen with me, however when it came to meeting his family and friends it was a different story.we broke up alittle more than a year ago.at this point i was mature enough and had a strong enough sense of self that it caused me great deal of pain.its very hard to be in love with someone and that person says they love you too yet are ashamed to bring you around their people.i finally walked away after an incident on the street where he ignored me because his boy was around.i was messed up for a long time and still bear some emotional scars from that relationship.
The guy im with now though is 120% open with me.i have meet his mother,dad,and two sisters.it wasnt a big deal for him at all.infact i was the one having panic attacks and shit lol.his family was very friendly towards me and there was never an akward moment or question of gender.i was just the girl their son brought home.while they never brought up any suspicions about my gender we have talked about letting them know or not.he basically left it up me to decide.he made it clear tho that either way he supports me.if they know they know,if they dont they dont :)

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reason i love u #2

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Originally Posted by TsBrooklynMattel

(NOT A MAN HATER, YET)Jk ;)
I wanna know why a majority of men who are into trans-women have such a hard time being open. Being in public, bringing her around friends or family. Taking her serious as far as relationships. I see alot of men saying

"LOOKING FOR MY TS-WIFEY"

WTF u cant possibly be looking for a Trans-wifey if you dont take her seriously.

Somebody please explain to me why? i just wanna know?

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It's strictly need to know basis....No shame here, a bad lookin chick on my arm is just that. Hell most tgirls don't even tell us until they're good and ready anyway, so there's that to.

Okay im gone give you the realest answer ever. Were not okay with going out in public with most GGs either if were well known, so why when you assume that lifestyle would you think your any different?. This is shit women deal with 24/7 and you just got added to the pot for whatever reason. Me being seen with you hurts my chances of getting with her. "Diary of a Pimp named Slickback" coming soon LOL J/K. Sad part is this statement is so true. Im not saying the TS part isnt a huge factor, but even w/o it you stand a huge chance of getting played just for the ass that i could possibly get in the future. Somebody gotta know what im sayin

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Originally Posted by werwt22

Okay im gone give you the realest answer ever. Were not okay with going out in public with most GGs either if were well known, so why when you assume that lifestyle would you think your any different?. This is shit women deal with 24/7 and you just got added to the pot for whatever reason. Me being seen with you hurts my chances of getting with her. "Diary of a Pimp named Slickback" coming soon LOL J/K. Sad part is this statement is so true. Im not saying the TS part isnt a huge factor, but even w/o it you stand a huge chance of getting played just for the ass that i could possibly get in the future. Somebody gotta know what im sayin

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U proved an overall point to why ts & women turn to escorting. its smarter to play then game then get played. This seems like 2 Can Play that Game. its sad but thats how things really are. & as far as the lifestyle, If u(general use of u) choose to talk to ts women, honestly she has no obligation not to shout it in the world that u mess with her. So games call for more games?

Unfortunately, there is a social stigma associated with transexuality which makes it, to many people, either morally wrong or mentally aberrant. It seems to me this attitude will gradually die away as issues like gay marriage and tolerance towards GLBT become the norm. When the younger generations replace the older ones. Unfortunately, you might be middle-aged by the time this sea change in attitude occurs.

Actually, it's a fascinating question (to me) that I've asked myself for years: why is transexuality "normal" and "ok" ? Or for that matter homosexuality ? I could launch into one of my "scientific" explanations but I don't feel like it right now and besides I doubt anyone wants to read it. Suffice it to say I've concluded that it is perfectly normal, but my thinking is always out of synch with most people. You just have to find someone who thinks differently and is strong-minded enough to not care what others think once they've made up their mind. But not pig-headed, of course; based on strong reasoning. BTW, I'm not saying I'm morally perfect but after learning what I have, I would be capable of an open relationship with a TG.

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Originally Posted by MrF

Unfortunately, there is a social stigma associated with transexuality which makes it, to many people, either morally wrong or mentally aberrant. It seems to me this attitude will gradually die away as issues like gay marriage and tolerance towards GLBT become the norm. When the younger generations replace the older ones. Unfortunately, you might be middle-aged by the time this sea change in attitude occurs.

Actually, it's a fascinating question (to me) that I've asked myself for years: why is transexuality "normal" and "ok" ? Or for that matter homosexuality ? I could launch into one of my "scientific" explanations but I don't feel like it right now and besides I doubt anyone wants to read it. Suffice it to say I've concluded that it is perfectly normal, but my thinking is always out of synch with most people. You just have to find someone who thinks differently and is strong-minded enough to not care what others think once they've made up their mind. But not pig-headed, of course; based on strong reasoning. BTW, I'm not saying I'm morally perfect but after learning what I have, I would be capable of an open relationship with a TG.

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thank u so much for having a open mind and open to understanding things rather then just going with things and not thinking about ur actions. ugh that make my heart smile

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Originally Posted by TsBrooklynMattel

(NOT A MAN HATER, YET)Jk ;)
I wanna know why a majority of men who are into trans-women have such a hard time being open. Being in public, bringing her around friends or family. Taking her serious as far as relationships. I see alot of men saying

"LOOKING FOR MY TS-WIFEY"

WTF u cant possibly be looking for a Trans-wifey if you dont take her seriously.

Somebody please explain to me why? i just wanna know?

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Because they are not truly 100% into the girls. They think they are. They aren't the right fellows for you or Amber. You have to love the whole package of a TS girl. Even the controversy.

But::it does seem to be dependent on the passability of the girl as far as meeting the family and friends. Men prefer a pretty girl to take home to MOM. All men like to be seen with pretty women. It's the damn truth. Doesn't matter if it's a TS or a GG. There is a model coming on here soon whom I introduced to my friends and my son's this past year. Never a doubt. And there shouldn't be one for multiple reasons.

It's hard because, not everybody is accepting of it. I hear a lot of people say if they were really your friends then they would accept it. It's not always true, is it worth the risk to loose your family, and your friends over it. When you don't know if the relationship will actually last. It's a huge risk, because your friends will think you are gay, should the relationship not work out, will be hard to date gg. It's just a huge gamble. Homosexuality is not accepted by everyone, even though, it's a transexual woman, it's still viewed as homosexuality. That's why a lot of guys, who like it, will do it on the d.l. to avoid the consequences of family and friends finding out.

I think the last 2 posts by dieselb and dynacord really captured it. Men are under a lot of social pressure. That doesn't mean it's right to mistreat a TG, though. Morally, it would be better to leave her alone and find a GG. But at a minimum it would be best to be honest about your feelings, admitting your fears and thoughts about being open.

Now, if the TG is pretty and passable (which go together in my opinion), it makes it much easier to be seen on a date in public or introduce her to family and friends as an acquiaintance. And if the relationship becomes deeper, the guy should be willing to be open about her status, assuming that's what she wants. BTW, a lot of gay couples find it difficult to come out (I'm talking about man/man or woman/woman), experiencing a similar social pressure to man/TG.

Great point Guys..you really hit home.