Why do Men Feel its okay to not be 100% open dating TS

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07-12-2011, 01:41 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by raheme

I will date a ts publicly but I won't date a hoe publicly...its a big difference. Her being a ts has nothing to do with me wanting to creep. How many women want to be all out in the public with a kknown man whore?

I asked one of my high school buddies this question, and this seems a good time to pose it as well. Would you openly date a successful porn star? I don't mean the sort that escort on the side.
07-12-2011, 01:51 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by thegirlnextdoor

ive been in three committed relationships ever.all of them as a woman.the first guy i dated was kinda in the closet but towards the end of our relationship became more comfortable with being seen with me.we were together for two years.i was very young than and thought that this was the only kind of relationship girls like me could have.
my second boyfriend never had a problem being seen with me, however when it came to meeting his family and friends it was a different story.we broke up alittle more than a year ago.at this point i was mature enough and had a strong enough sense of self that it caused me great deal of pain.its very hard to be in love with someone and that person says they love you too yet are ashamed to bring you around their people.i finally walked away after an incident on the street where he ignored me because his boy was around.i was messed up for a long time and still bear some emotional scars from that relationship.
the guy im with now though is 120% open with me.i have meet his mother,dad,and two sisters.it wasnt a big deal for him at all.infact i was the one having panic attacks and shit lol.his family was very friendly towards me and there was never an akward moment or question of gender.i was just the girl their son brought home.while they never brought up any suspicions about my gender we have talked about letting them know or not.he basically left it up me to decide.he made it clear tho that either way he supports me.if they know they know,if they dont they dont :)

*hugs* Sorry to hear about the bs you went through with those boys. This last guy is how a real man out the lot!
07-12-2011, 01:53 PM
thegreat1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms Remy M

I asked one of my high school buddies this question, and this seems a good time to pose it as well. Would you openly date a successful porn star? I don't mean the sort that escort on the side.

I have and would...what she does is what she does...I do have some reservations though
07-12-2011, 02:08 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by dieselb

It's hard because, not everybody is accepting of it. I hear a lot of people say if they were really your friends then they would accept it. It's not always true, is it worth the risk to loose your family, and your friends over it. When you don't know if the relationship will actually last. It's a huge risk, because your friends will think you are gay, should the relationship not work out, will be hard to date gg. It's just a huge gamble. Homosexuality is not accepted by everyone, even though, it's a transexual woman, it's still viewed as homosexuality. That's why a lot of guys, who like it, will do it on the d.l. to avoid the consequences of family and friends finding out.

You know, at one point, Blacks couldn't date whites, people use to die over it. It's hardly that serious with dating trans women, where you 'may' have to deal with familial rejection. People always assume, family and friends are going to freak out, but at the end of the day most will realize It's No Big Deal. If your friend stop liking you because you are happy with a trans woman than they were not your friends to begin with, you can always make more.

There's no gamble, women are not going to stop liking you all of a sudden, that sounds silly. Damn hilarious hearing guys act like the genetic girls don't like trans women themselves, perhaps they are just putting on the same front you are, and both the fools sitting there wishing they had the best of both worlds by their side.
07-12-2011, 02:16 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrF

I think the last 2 posts by dieselb and dynacord really captured it. Men are under a lot of social pressure. That doesn't mean it's right to mistreat a TG, though. Morally, it would be better to leave her alone and find a GG. But at a minimum it would be best to be honest about your feelings, admitting your fears and thoughts about being open.

Now, if the TG is pretty and passable (which go together in my opinion), it makes it much easier to be seen on a date in public or introduce her to family and friends as an acquiaintance. And if the relationship becomes deeper, the guy should be willing to be open about her status, assuming that's what she wants. BTW, a lot of gay couples find it difficult to come out (I'm talking about man/man or woman/woman), experiencing a similar social pressure to man/TG.

It's more of a perceived social pressure, because as everyone who has come out can tell you, there's a huge weight coming off those shoulders when a person comes out, and it's like "wow, what the hell was I waiting for" You only have one life to live, don't spend it appeasing family and friends lol that would really be a waste of a life.

Seriously, I just watched a documentary last month "Worst Place To Be Gay" it was an African Nation. The death penalty is leveled quickly toward gays there, and guess what, people still come out openly and they have real problems and ignorance amongst the people to contend with.
07-12-2011, 02:49 PM
raheme

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms Remy M

I asked one of my high school buddies this question, and this seems a good time to pose it as well. Would you openly date a successful porn star? I don't mean the sort that escort on the side.

Yes. That's totally different.
07-12-2011, 03:09 PM
CosmicTraveler

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms Remy M

You know, at one point, Blacks couldn't date whites, people use to die over it. It's hardly that serious with dating trans women, where you 'may' have to deal with familial rejection. People always assume, family and friends are going to freak out, but at the end of the day most will realize It's No Big Deal. If your friend stop liking you because you are happy with a trans woman than they were not your friends to begin with, you can always make more.

There's no gamble, women are not going to stop liking you all of a sudden, that sounds silly. Damn hilarious hearing guys act like the genetic girls don't like trans women themselves, perhaps they are just putting on the same front you are, and both the fools sitting there wishing they had the best of both worlds by their side.

Sometimes that can be a problem though. It's not as if all women will be put off, but if you get involved with someone, it comes up and she's not so accepting, it can be a real downer. I had a girl freak out because I'd been with a couple of trans girls before. She thought I " was going to leave her for some guy. " Which annoyed me on several levels. ( Mainly that she had no faith in me. ) So it's not a totally void issue, it's just one that can be very much avoided early in the relationship as opposed to later on.
07-12-2011, 03:11 PM
CosmicTraveler

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms Remy M

It's more of a perceived social pressure, because as everyone who has come out can tell you, there's a huge weight coming off those shoulders when a person comes out, and it's like "wow, what the hell was I waiting for" You only have one life to live, don't spend it appeasing family and friends lol that would really be a waste of a life.

Seriously, I just watched a documentary last month "Worst Place To Be Gay" it was an African Nation. The death penalty is leveled quickly toward gays there, and guess what, people still come out openly and they have real problems and ignorance amongst the people to contend with.

I saw a video with some African preacher going on and on about what gays do in the privacy of their own home ( his words ) and how wrong it was. He went on to describe a number of sexual acts that in all honesty I doubt were common amongst people of any sexual orientation. This is one of the major reasons I'm against anyone who mumbles about going back to the " Motherland. " It's hot and there are lions. No.
07-12-2011, 03:34 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by raheme

Yes. That's totally different.

Interesting. Porn stars are being paid for sex ON camera, escort are being paid for their time (may include sex) OFF camera.

What makes you say yes to the porn star and no to the escort?
07-12-2011, 03:36 PM
Ms Remy M

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler

Sometimes that can be a problem though. It's not as if all women will be put off, but if you get involved with someone, it comes up and she's not so accepting, it can be a real downer. I had a girl freak out because I'd been with a couple of trans girls before. She thought I " was going to leave her for some guy. " Which annoyed me on several levels. ( Mainly that she had no faith in me. ) So it's not a totally void issue, it's just one that can be very much avoided early in the relationship as opposed to later on.

Ok I will agree with you, because I do know that not all women are into trans, or accepting of their men who are into trans. However; there are so many women that are, if you feel you want to date a GG why not choose one that is open minded as you are.

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