change of pace: the ideal man

fellaz, lets take a backseat on this one and let the ladies (those of u who post as well as those that lurk) describe or explain to us what they, as individuals, feel is their ideal guy. its no right or wrong answer, and u can feel free to post pics if u want. i would just personaly like to know where some of u women are coming from when u say there are no good men around. give us all a reference of a 'good man' in your opinion so we wont have to assume its not always about the looks or the money (if its not)...this post will probably drop like bricks in water but i just figured id put the opportunity out there to discuss something beyond sex and what not...

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Originally Posted by MrKnockOut

fellaz, lets take a backseat on this one and let the ladies (those of u who post as well as those that lurk) describe or explain to us what they, as individuals, feel is their ideal guy. its no right or wrong answer, and u can feel free to post pics if u want. i would just personaly like to know where some of u women are coming from when u say there are no good men around. give us all a reference of a 'good man' in your opinion so we wont have to assume its not always about the looks or the money (if its not)...this post will probably drop like bricks in water but i just figured id put the opportunity out there to discuss something beyond sex and what not...

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Anyone that knows me knows intelligence is first and foremost. He must be secure in himself and his sexuality. He must be sane and possess common sense. I am not that hung up on looks he must be neat in appearance and fit. I can always improve a mans looks but there is no amount of make over that will make a nut dateable. LOL

He should be goal oriented and driven have some kind of plan for his life. He would adore me and respect me. I would be just as beautiful to him in jeans and a tshirt with a pony tail as I am in my fantasy fotos. He would treat me as an equal and he would want the best for me as I do him. He would be supportive and considerate.

In the bed room he would be worried more about my satisfaction than getting his nut especially if I am doing the same for him.

Basically my ideal man would be me with out tits. LOL

I never say there are no good men out there or think that the infractions of a few speak for you all as a whole. Most times men and girls alike get tired and just play the game that everyone else is playing.

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Originally Posted by TSSexyChanel

Anyone that knows me knows intelligence is first and foremost. He must be secure in himself and his sexuality. He must be sane and possess common sense. I am not that hung up on looks he must be neat in appearance and fit. I can always improve a mans looks but there is no amount of make over that will make a nut dateable. LOL

He should be goal oriented and driven have some kind of plan for his life. He would adore me and respect me. I would be just as beautiful to him in jeans and a tshirt with a pony tail as I am in my fantasy fotos. He would treat me as an equal and he would want the best for me as I do him. He would be supportive and considerate.

In the bed room he would be worried more about my satisfaction than getting his nut especially if I am doing the same for him.

Basically my ideal man would be me with out tits. LOL

I never say there are no good men out there or think that the infractions of a few speak for you all as a whole. Most times men and girls alike get tired and just play the game that everyone else is playing.

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Thanks for sharing that Chanel. It really sounds like you just want a man who'll appreciate you and all the special things that you do. Nothing wrong with that.

Seems the problem in finding a good man is that no one knows what a good man is. LOL

Where da responses?

I am sorry it's boring, snowing again and my bff is not on yahoo.

LOL

I'm with u big sis, intelligence is key. I'm no dummy and I need u to match what I bring to the table. Be diverse and able to maintain conversation on things that matter. Humor is huge for me also. Make me smile and u have my attention. I'm a clown so someone dry won't mesh... ummm also well balanced with eclectic taste or at least an open mind.

After that, looks play a major role but that's not as important as the aforementioned... however if I work to maintain myself, so I expect a man to do the same.

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Originally Posted by TSSexyChanel

Anyone that knows me knows intelligence is first and foremost. He must be secure in himself and his sexuality. He must be sane and possess common sense. I am not that hung up on looks he must be neat in appearance and fit. I can always improve a mans looks but there is no amount of make over that will make a nut dateable. LOL

He should be goal oriented and driven have some kind of plan for his life. He would adore me and respect me. I would be just as beautiful to him in jeans and a tshirt with a pony tail as I am in my fantasy fotos. He would treat me as an equal and he would want the best for me as I do him. He would be supportive and considerate.

In the bed room he would be worried more about my satisfaction than getting his nut especially if I am doing the same for him.

Basically my ideal man would be me with out tits. LOL

I never say there are no good men out there or think that the infractions of a few speak for you all as a whole. Most times men and girls alike get tired and just play the game that everyone else is playing.

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So Chanel, what you're saying is that a TGirl wants what every Girl wants and I can appreciate that.

But, as you said some (all sexes) get tired and play the games. The largest obstacle for us men that want a LTR with a Transgendered woman is that tag of "Tranny chaser". I live in San Fran. and there are really no places to go to meet the ladies in a social way. The few places where you can find them are simply the places they go to find a "date" (which I am not against - lol). The minute you walk in you are nothing more then that (for the most part) and it's harder than heck to get them to let their guards down long enough to show that I'm serious about an honest relationship - or a simple dinner date or movie and not just sex. I do understand their position but at the same time how in the world can they expect to find a guy for anything more then sex or a sugar daddy? Even when I meet a girl in a store or walking down the sidewalk and I try to speak to them they either give me a very cold shoulder or want to know if I want a "date".

I've had two LTR's (if you can one year for one and eight months with the other long) that ended because niether of them contributed to the relationship. Not financially or mentally. I paid the rent and food and movies and some clothing and I was supportive of the fact they were both entertainers and pageant girls and encouraged them to be the best. They made good money but it never ended up in the communal pot and this brought on the spats. Then there was of course the occassional "dates" I eventually found out about but hey - I knew that one going in. I'd of just felt better about them had they not lied and said they weren't dating anymore.

So, I think to add to the original question of what do you ladies want I'm asking how do we men get through to the ladies that we're not "tranny chasers" in the sence that we just want sex. I personally want a TGirl for a relationship as I'm no longer interested in GG's and that's my personal preference but how in the world can a guy get a girl to understand that?

If of all, looking for a ‘good man’ is nothing more than a superlative brought about by a societal fantasy of what “real” should be. If a person has never been in a noteworthy relationship then they are bullshitting themselves in believing what is real.
A relationship is an experience that one will never forget. It has value that will live to the next relationship and the substance drawn from it will make a person wiser and stronger from it.
Most t-girls [I know] have never been in a substantial relationship, never! It is easy to say they want a good man, but do they know how to be a “good woman”? That is an ideal!
It is idealistic to say a person should be intelligent; have good looks; money, whatever, it is still an ideal! Do they (woman/man) know how to be a good person? That is really what this boils down to! Do they (woman/man) know how to give rather than take; a virtuous concept that should be shared by all? That premise works if its man on man; woman on woman; man on woman, woman on man, etc.; everyone craves reciprocal affection and mutual respect. To be in a relationship is nothing to bullshit with; it cannot be one-sided. It’s not TV; it’s not “When Harry meets Sally”, its red pill for all that it’s worth, it’s real!
:cool:

A guy who is handsome and not dumb as dirt; and funny, kind, considerate -- all those things are a given. But there is something different about TGirls, from my studies of the phenomena.

And that is that many wish to find a straight guy who at first thinks they are a genetic girl (GG), and only after a period of time and getting to know her, realizes that she is a TG, and then in a flash of enlightenment decides she is a true woman and that his love for her is more important than what's between her legs. ... Something like that.

They'd prefer the above Prince Charming scenario over an experienced trannychaser -- no offense intended. Although a chaser is presumably better than a straight guy who recoils in terror, or a prejudiced guy who hates her from the minute he realizes her status, etc, etc. Maybe the TGirls could like a reforming chaser who is willing in principle to settle down. :)

The last two replys make good sense I'm glad TVSURfer added woman in on that notion of not knowing how to be in a relationship. Most of them have no idea of their roles in a relationship. Which really makes me wonder about the obstacles of the TS community. Its all one big game and I'm almost totally convinced of this. As MrF put it w/o using the exact word these ladies search for what they think they want to only find out that its not what they thought they wanted, and if analyzed would understand it to be the hunt/challenge that never got out of their systems. Can't transform that.

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Originally Posted by MrF

A guy who is handsome and not dumb as dirt; and funny, kind, considerate -- all those things are a given. But there is something different about TGirls, from my studies of the phenomena.

And that is that many wish to find a straight guy who at first thinks they are a genetic girl (GG), and only after a period of time and getting to know her, realizes that she is a TG, and then in a flash of enlightenment decides she is a true woman and that his love for her is more important than what's between her legs. ... Something like that.

They'd prefer the above Prince Charming scenario over an experienced trannychaser -- no offense intended. Although a chaser is presumably better than a straight guy who recoils in terror, or a prejudiced guy who hates her from the minute he realizes her status, etc, etc. Maybe the TGirls could like a reforming chaser who is willing in principle to settle down. :)

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^ this..........

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Originally Posted by MrF

A guy who is handsome and not dumb as dirt; and funny, kind, considerate -- all those things are a given. But there is something different about TGirls, from my studies of the phenomena.

And that is that many wish to find a straight guy who at first thinks they are a genetic girl (GG), and only after a period of time and getting to know her, realizes that she is a TG, and then in a flash of enlightenment decides she is a true woman and that his love for her is more important than what's between her legs. ... Something like that.

They'd prefer the above Prince Charming scenario over an experienced trannychaser -- no offense intended. Although a chaser is presumably better than a straight guy who recoils in terror, or a prejudiced guy who hates her from the minute he realizes her status, etc, etc. Maybe the TGirls could like a reforming chaser who is willing in principle to settle down. :)

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^Quote for truth^.
Except they never ever want a chaser. Chaser = damaged goods.
You might as well be broko foot, mashup face and living with your moms..

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Originally Posted by TGirls4Me

So Chanel, what you're saying is that a TGirl wants what every Girl wants and I can appreciate that.

But, as you said some (all sexes) get tired and play the games. The largest obstacle for us men that want a LTR with a Transgendered woman is that tag of "Tranny chaser". I live in San Fran. and there are really no places to go to meet the ladies in a social way. The few places where you can find them are simply the places they go to find a "date" (which I am not against - lol). The minute you walk in you are nothing more then that (for the most part) and it's harder than heck to get them to let their guards down long enough to show that I'm serious about an honest relationship - or a simple dinner date or movie and not just sex. I do understand their position but at the same time how in the world can they expect to find a guy for anything more then sex or a sugar daddy? Even when I meet a girl in a store or walking down the sidewalk and I try to speak to them they either give me a very cold shoulder or want to know if I want a "date".

I've had two LTR's (if you can one year for one and eight months with the other long) that ended because niether of them contributed to the relationship. Not financially or mentally. I paid the rent and food and movies and some clothing and I was supportive of the fact they were both entertainers and pageant girls and encouraged them to be the best. They made good money but it never ended up in the communal pot and this brought on the spats. Then there was of course the occassional "dates" I eventually found out about but hey - I knew that one going in. I'd of just felt better about them had they not lied and said they weren't dating anymore.

So, I think to add to the original question of what do you ladies want I'm asking how do we men get through to the ladies that we're not "tranny chasers" in the sence that we just want sex. I personally want a TGirl for a relationship as I'm no longer interested in GG's and that's my personal preference but how in the world can a guy get a girl to understand that?

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Having more male friends that transexual ones that term trannie chaser leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. To me a person that is single is free to see and fuck as many woman as he sees fit. The same "ladies" that call men chasers are fucking their fair share of men yet want every man that approaches them to have had no past. I dont get off into that justification of i only see clients sex is sex. You can't have a double standard. Now there are men that prey on girls that could be chasers of sorts. But I don't see men that are honest about having had a past or an attraction to other girls as being automatic chasers. Many of my friends are labeled chasers when girls find out how close we are and they get called chasers and are always accused of wanting me when I clearly would have tapped that if it was the case. I also never will understand when a man says I prefer trannies and dont like genetic girls any more girls say they faggots or chasers. Yet you want these men you want them to want pussy but fuck you and not fuck pussy there is some flawed thinking in this logic. But I am done tryin to convince girls of that. LOL

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Originally Posted by Handandsom

The last two replys make good sense I'm glad TVSURfer added woman in on that notion of not knowing how to be in a relationship. Most of them have no idea of their roles in a relationship. Which really makes me wonder about the obstacles of the TS community. Its all one big game and I'm almost totally convinced of this. As MrF put it w/o using the exact word these ladies search for what they think they want to only find out that its not what they thought they wanted, and if analyzed would understand it to be the hunt/challenge that never got out of their systems. Can't transform that.

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There are many girls who never learn to be women. A lot of people walk around and virtually play a role based upon their understanding and perceptions which way too often seem limited to the world of fashion and encompassing an unattainable ideal. I think if a man truly wants a girl, and vice versa, they have to leave their prior hangups at the door and start fresh. Give a person a chance to impress or disappoint but to walk into a situation with expectations leads always to disappointment. If u want someone to be real, u have to give them real in return. The reciprocation can't start and end at financial responsibilities. Both individuals must be committed to keeping each other happy, enough so that u are taking care of ur responsibilities out of a compulsion to make life easier for ur partner. Some of u guys' concerns are valid, but perhaps ur still dealing with a tgirl and not a transwoman. Just because someone lives their life as a woman, doesn't always equate being transgendered. There are a great many gay boys who see this life as a cash cow or a way to not be ugly as a boy and so they commit to it. To each their own, but you'll find a big difference between the trials and tribulations of a homosexual relationship and those of a hetero one. But the key is to really know and get into the being of a potential partner so u know which one you'll get.

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Originally Posted by Skye

There are many girls who never learn to be women. A lot of people walk around and virtually play a role based upon their understanding and perceptions which way too often seem limited to the world of fashion and encompassing an unattainable ideal. I think if a man truly wants a girl, and vice versa, they have to leave their prior hangups at the door and start fresh. Give a person a chance to impress or disappoint but to walk into a situation with expectations leads always to disappointment. If u want someone to be real, u have to give them real in return. The reciprocation can't start and end at financial responsibilities. Both individuals must be committed to keeping each other happy, enough so that u are taking care of ur responsibilities out of a compulsion to make life easier for ur partner. Some of u guys' concerns are valid, but perhaps ur still dealing with a tgirl and not a transwoman. Just because someone lives their life as a woman, doesn't always equate being transgendered. There are a great many gay boys who see this life as a cash cow or a way to not be ugly as a boy and so they commit to it. To each their own, but you'll find a big difference between the trials and tribulations of a homosexual relationship and those of a hetero one. But the key is to really know and get into the being of a potential partner so u know which one you'll get.

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Bravo! Bravo!
:cool:

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Originally Posted by Skye

There are many girls who never learn to be women. A lot of people walk around and virtually play a role based upon their understanding and perceptions which way too often seem limited to the world of fashion and encompassing an unattainable ideal. I think if a man truly wants a girl, and vice versa, they have to leave their prior hangups at the door and start fresh. Give a person a chance to impress or disappoint but to walk into a situation with expectations leads always to disappointment. If u want someone to be real, u have to give them real in return. The reciprocation can't start and end at financial responsibilities. Both individuals must be committed to keeping each other happy, enough so that u are taking care of ur responsibilities out of a compulsion to make life easier for ur partner. Some of u guys' concerns are valid, but perhaps ur still dealing with a tgirl and not a transwoman. Just because someone lives their life as a woman, doesn't always equate being transgendered. There are a great many gay boys who see this life as a cash cow or a way to not be ugly as a boy and so they commit to it. To each their own, but you'll find a big difference between the trials and tribulations of a homosexual relationship and those of a hetero one. But the key is to really know and get into the being of a potential partner so u know which one you'll get.

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Thats my sister right there. Come on girl. I just exhaled. I thought it was just me.

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Originally Posted by Skye

There are many girls who never learn to be women. A lot of people walk around and virtually play a role based upon their understanding and perceptions which way too often seem limited to the world of fashion and encompassing an unattainable ideal. I think if a man truly wants a girl, and vice versa, they have to leave their prior hangups at the door and start fresh. Give a person a chance to impress or disappoint but to walk into a situation with expectations leads always to disappointment. If u want someone to be real, u have to give them real in return. The reciprocation can't start and end at financial responsibilities. Both individuals must be committed to keeping each other happy, enough so that u are taking care of ur responsibilities out of a compulsion to make life easier for ur partner. Some of u guys' concerns are valid, but perhaps ur still dealing with a tgirl and not a transwoman. Just because someone lives their life as a woman, doesn't always equate being transgendered. There are a great many gay boys who see this life as a cash cow or a way to not be ugly as a boy and so they commit to it. To each their own, but you'll find a big difference between the trials and tribulations of a homosexual relationship and those of a hetero one. But the key is to really know and get into the being of a potential partner so u know which one you'll get.

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Very well said.
Thanks for your perspective. You seem like a real cool woman.

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Originally Posted by TSSexyChanel

Thats my sister right there. Come on girl. I just exhaled. I thought it was just me.

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Yes ma'am u know I wouldn't be me without my Oprah moments!


Bdser thank u and for the record I'm both... real and cool :cool:

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Originally Posted by TSSexyChanel

Having more male friends that transexual ones that term trannie chaser leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. To me a person that is single is free to see and fuck as many woman as he sees fit. The same "ladies" that call men chasers are fucking their fair share of men yet want every man that approaches them to have had no past. I dont get off into that justification of i only see clients sex is sex. You can't have a double standard. Now there are men that prey on girls that could be chasers of sorts. But I don't see men that are honest about having had a past or an attraction to other girls as being automatic chasers. Many of my friends are labeled chasers when girls find out how close we are and they get called chasers and are always accused of wanting me when I clearly would have tapped that if it was the case. I also never will understand when a man says I prefer trannies and dont like genetic girls any more girls say they faggots or chasers. Yet you want these men you want them to want pussy but fuck you and not fuck pussy there is some flawed thinking in this logic. But I am done tryin to convince girls of that. LOL

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i soooooooooooooooooo fucking like the way u think. your analysis is 100!

WOW, I am so interested in reading these posts...

Skye & Chanel are destroying the Dumb, Golddigging, Thirsty & Shallow Stereotypes all on one site. Kudos to you ladies, please continue to encourage all the Gentlemen here that there is hope...

I have two ideal guys :)

FIRST THE BOOTY CALL
As a endlessly single T-girl for whatever reason, sometimes I just need a little TLC :) I'm not sure why this is such a hard thing to find but just a guy who I can trust is not out there sticking his cock into anything that moves and that is ok with a little booty call on the side every now and then :) Let's have some fun and then KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE! I so hate it when a booty call turns into him lounging around on the couch for an hour or so afterwards! :)

THE IDEAL
If I was ever to settle down for a LTR... I suppose as many of the other girls here have noted, intelligence is an important factor for me. He would have to be secure enough in his sexuality to have some semi-public fun every once in a while (as in adult theater or bookstore). A good sense of humor is always nice. Stable, sane, responsible... there are so many things to list now that I actually think about it :) But... the automatic turn-offs... loud, arrogance, unkempt, liars, and rude. Those will end the deal before it even starts.

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Originally Posted by TGirls4Me

So Chanel, what you're saying is that a TGirl wants what every Girl wants and I can appreciate that.

But, as you said some (all sexes) get tired and play the games. The largest obstacle for us men that want a LTR with a Transgendered woman is that tag of "Tranny chaser". I live in San Fran. and there are really no places to go to meet the ladies in a social way. The few places where you can find them are simply the places they go to find a "date" (which I am not against - lol). The minute you walk in you are nothing more then that (for the most part) and it's harder than heck to get them to let their guards down long enough to show that I'm serious about an honest relationship - or a simple dinner date or movie and not just sex. I do understand their position but at the same time how in the world can they expect to find a guy for anything more then sex or a sugar daddy? Even when I meet a girl in a store or walking down the sidewalk and I try to speak to them they either give me a very cold shoulder or want to know if I want a "date".

I've had two LTR's (if you can one year for one and eight months with the other long) that ended because niether of them contributed to the relationship. Not financially or mentally. I paid the rent and food and movies and some clothing and I was supportive of the fact they were both entertainers and pageant girls and encouraged them to be the best. They made good money but it never ended up in the communal pot and this brought on the spats. Then there was of course the occassional "dates" I eventually found out about but hey - I knew that one going in. I'd of just felt better about them had they not lied and said they weren't dating anymore.

So, I think to add to the original question of what do you ladies want I'm asking how do we men get through to the ladies that we're not "tranny chasers" in the sence that we just want sex. I personally want a TGirl for a relationship as I'm no longer interested in GG's and that's my personal preference but how in the world can a guy get a girl to understand that?

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OMG... where have you been all my life? :) Just kidding... since this is a Black Tgirl Forum and I'm Asian, I assuming you wouldn't be interested anyways...

ANYWAY... I travel down to SF quite a bit to visit family and I love going to the Tgirl hangouts just to watch people and chat and [maybe] hookup with someone if the mood strikes. And, I would agree that for the most part, it is pretty tough as a guy walking into a place like Diva's where you're immediately sized up and have a dollar sign placed on you. But, guys are the same way. Invariably, one of the first three questions I'm asked at a place like that is 'Are you working?' followed quickly by, 'How Much?'

Call me old fashioned and perhaps I'm older than I think I am but what ever happened to buying a girl a drink and getting to know her a little before trying to jump into her panties! There are good guys out there... I've met a couple of them who I still correspond with via email from Diva's but they are few and far between. I think some of them should move to Portland though... guys up here have much to learn!

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Originally Posted by GroobyKrissy

OMG... where have you been all my life? :) Just kidding... since this is a Black Tgirl Forum and I'm Asian, I assuming you wouldn't be interested anyways...

ANYWAY... I travel down to SF quite a bit to visit family and I love going to the Tgirl hangouts just to watch people and chat and [maybe] hookup with someone if the mood strikes. And, I would agree that for the most part, it is pretty tough as a guy walking into a place like Diva's where you're immediately sized up and have a dollar sign placed on you. But, guys are the same way. Invariably, one of the first three questions I'm asked at a place like that is 'Are you working?' followed quickly by, 'How Much?'

Call me old fashioned and perhaps I'm older than I think I am but what ever happened to buying a girl a drink and getting to know her a little before trying to jump into her panties! There are good guys out there... I've met a couple of them who I still correspond with via email from Diva's but they are few and far between. I think some of them should move to Portland though... guys up here have much to learn!

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Welcome! By the way, can you play "Slobber Blues on a Skin Flute?" Nice avatar [Damn, you changed it that fast!]!
:cool:

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Originally Posted by TVSURFER

Welcome! By the way, can you play "Slobber Blues on a Skin Flute?" Nice avatar [Damn, you changed it that fast!]!
:cool:

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Thanks :) Very interesting threads here :)

I changed it because after looking through a lot of the other threads, it seems like most avatars were pg :) So, I thought I would make mine too :)

Luv me some skin flute :)

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Originally Posted by GroobyKrissy

Thanks :) Very interesting threads here :)

I changed it because after looking through a lot of the other threads, it seems like most avatars were pg :) So, I thought I would make mine too :)

Luv me some skin flute :)

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i dont know about a flute but if u happen to dabble with the oboe let me know...lol!

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Originally Posted by MrKnockOut

i dont know about a flute but if u happen to dabble with the oboe let me know...lol!

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Well... if you're going to go oboe I suppose you may as well just go the distance and get yourself a nice big bassoon! :p :D

Wait... we are talking about musical instruments here, right?