When I was a pre op I did not top men nor enjoy them
performing oral sex upon me.

I believe this was due to two reasons, the first was that
physically it did not feel good to me.

Inserting my penis in an anus tended to hurt my penis.
And though I had vaginal sex on occasion I found that
also made my penis hurt.

Oral sex performed on me was also painful and uncomfortable.

But for me what far outweighed the physical pain that I
experienced was the perception in my mind that it made
me less feminine, less of a woman.

I guess I subscribed to the traditional role of the women
as the receptive partner.

As I have often stated the mind is the ultimate sexual organ,
thus if it caused discomfort in my mind then my body would
not find the experience pleasurable.

Now as a post op, the mental component remains the same,
in that I feel if I use a strap on with a man that diminishes
my femininity. As well as that fact that a strap on would not
give me any pleasure, unless we are talking about the type
that stimulates the vagina at the same time that it is penetrating
my partner.

Finally, I also feel that my personal insecurities would not allow me
to be with a man that enjoyed being topped as I would always
be fearful that he would be seeking something from others
that I couldn't provide.