Trans Sistas don't date BM now?

[CosmicTraveler]

I actually started talking to her recently. She says she dates black guys, but most of the black guys she meets aren't her type. This isn't really anything out of the ordinary. Some people won't date people without big asses.

[chitown diva]

Ok first off, i just wanna say hi everyone!!! I know its been a while since I posted on here but I felt that it is time, that I make a comment on this one...

I first off have to say that for her to be a "junior" in college, she makes herself sound immature and simple minded.

There are so many topics that I wanna touch on that she brought up... Imma try my best to address each one of them

1. For her to state that "black men" dont have any goals, that is a out right lie...I know plenty of black men that have goals and are in the process to becoming a step closer to their dreams. Maybe the ones that she attracts may not be of the successful mold but they are out there... and furthermore for her to be a black-transperson she is clearly stereotyping her own race. I wonder if she has looked in the mirror lately. Because at this point she is no better than the next person who stereotypes any race...
Every race has their 'BLACK SHEEPS", blacks, whites, hispanics, asians, indian, they all do..and for her to feel as though she is above the black man only tells me that she needs to stay in school...
2.As previously stated, every race has their fuck ups (and men that do fucked up stuff to women and vice versa), and that is why it is called LIFE, because you have a freedom of choice to a certain extent...I as well went to a very multi-cultural high school and i didnt date black men until I was 20, but I did that because I wanted to gain insight into how things where done and experienced in other races, not because i felt as thought i was uppity, egotistical, or bougie enough not to date black men. And it had nothing to do with schooling, financials, etc. It was because I had got the experiences that I had needed.
3. She mentioned the fact that her parents had went to these elite schools, and that they probably would not have met if her father did not go to the school he did, and I am sitting here thinking to myself, oh bitch please because, if he had worked in a chicken shack and gave your mom, an extra wing she would have given up the panties, and you'd still be here, due to the physical attraction...( and that is not being racist, it is me being honest and keeping it real)..
4. I love my black people and my black men and i do agree with dating members in your race (and yes i date all races) because when you are raised in a particular race you are being conditioned to handle the member of the opposite sex in that race...for example black women are strong and ride or die because she is raised that way, and must carry on in any event with or without a black man...other races teach women to be submissive to men, i.e. asian/indian women...I think she is young minded and a tad ignorant... and posting a youtube video like this demonstrates thus because it does not seem to validate her overall purpose of her post. This is upsetting, but to each its own and oh well, I am glad it is her not me...

Smooches,

Jayla Marie

[nycguy]

The crabs in a barrel mentality exists because crabs aren't meant to be in barrels. What you should ask is who put the damn crabs in the barrel and who's pulling them out? Think about it...

First let me say that the B-more dude waxing poetic about Crabs is irony that is not lost on me! lol.. Secondly, I totally agree. I have always had issue with the "crabs in a barrel" metaphor, mainly because its supposition is that the other crabs want to hold you back, when logic should tell you they want to go with you. Perception is the cause for many a wrong ideology. Sometimes its best to the last crab in the barrel, at least then you have lived a little longer before being boiled and eaten by the masses at the harbor for the June crab fests!

[kilakali]

Eh.....no loss here she can keep it moving.

[KitWilkins]

Oh boy! Here we go.

So I"m the girl in this video.

Am I ignorant, SURE. I was raised in a predominately asian neighborhood and I've had predominately asian friends for my entire life.

All of the black men that have approached me THUS far have not been my type. Do you honestly expect for me to be interested in EVERY SINGLE BLACK GUY I MEET? That's delusional. Come on now. What kind of girl fucks every guy she meets. Please.

Also, and I didn't mention this in the video, but I really should have. A lot of black men are very secretive about their interest in transsexual women. The whole "downlow" concept". Now haven't dealt with discreet guys of all races, I can't deal with that at all. Most black men that have approached me have approached me for discreet sex. Any man of any race that approaches me for discreet sex WILL be shot down. Period. And it just so happens that african american men do that more often.

Combine that with the fact that i haven't actually experienced or lived with or even had classes with a lot of black men, of course my perception of black men is skewed.

This video was to made to simply express why I haven't dated black men. I have a lot of bad experiences (including the loss of my virginity) with black men. I will admit that I probably do unfairly judge black men because of the assholes of the past. Sure. However I am very open to dating black men. It's just the type of black man that i'm interested in is very very rare.

When you're a girl who has been raised in an area that is overwhelmingly the race that isn't your own, you're obviously going to develop a certain bias. Most of my asian girl friends liked white men. Point in case.


Unfortunately, I feel the way I feel based on my own experiences. If I ever meet a black guy who is artistic, into indie music, and into film and probably has a simliar up bringing as myself, then the chances are, I'm going to be into him. Hell, there are several black men on my campus who I AM attracted to. And that's because they're similar to me in that they do not allow their race to be the very determining factor in how they act and how they live.

I believe that so many people are slaves to their race. It angers me that no matter what my actual upringing and my actual background and nurture as a young woman, people STILL want to compare me to the typical black woman who was raised in the black community. I do not hate my race, but you have to understand that when you're not around people who make your race a big deal, the identity that you give yourself based on your race becomes less important.

Anyone who watched this video and thinks that i absolutely will not date a black man is LOSING IT. Do i give black guys a chance, sure. Do I have higher standards for black men? Probably. But consider what I'm looking for as far as a man in general. Strip away everything about race and look at what I"m looking for in a man. Are those traits more common in the black community or the white community? Think. So, that being said, of course i have higer standards. Does that mean that I'd date a fat ass white guy, hell no. In fact, I think on average, i find black men more attractive. But it can't honestly be about looks it has to be about the personality. And it's a fact that I have a very hard time speaking to the average black man that i've met. Hell, i have a hard time really even speaking to my extended family.


As far as my family is concerned, I"m ADOPTED and no, my parents wouldn't have met eachother because they ran in very different circles and came from very different backgrounds. My mother upper middle class, my father from the projects. So please dont even come for my family like that when dont know anything about it.

The most judgemental, unfriendly and racist people I've ever met were African American. Maybe I'm just meeting the wrong people, but that's my exposure to african americans. Sorry. Black people judge me so much for doing things that are natural for me. Judging me for the way I speak, the way I dress, the way I do my hair, the way I do my make up, the school I go to and my life choices. They're the only group of people who have consistently given me problems whenever i am interacting with them. And that's just the truth.

I am young. I"m 20 years old (and yes a junior in college, you silly silly girl). I am still growing, I am still expanding my view on the world and my view of people. If I met more black men that I felt I was compatible with, for sure I'd be dating them. But the reality is that it is hard to find an artistic, hipster/indie black man, who isn't discreet, who is comfortable within his sexuality and who speaks in a way I can flow with. I'm SURE they exist, as i've stated, i've met some.

If you were seriously offended by my video, please grow up. My opinions are based on my experience in my mere 20 years of life. And they are bound to change. I do not think black men are lower than me and I do not think I'm white or even asian for that matter. I know who I am, I just wish I didn't have to argue with black people about every time we meet eachother face to face.

if you're still unclear, send me a message. If you think I hate black men, save your time. Flaming me and saying I'm ugly and that I"m this or that I'm that is really not going to help me like black men.


On another note, I almost modeled for this website. hahaaahah.

[TSSexyChanel]

The problem I have with girls like her is that she may identify as a woman now but at some point in her life she's had to identify herself as a black male so making assinine, ignorant, and dumb ass statements as a black male to female transsexual kinda puts poo poo on her own face. Trust, all races have internal issues, its just that in america blacks aren't allowed to be disjoined from each other. 1 black guy shoots and kills a white guy, suddenly all black guys are dangerous, 1 white guy shoots and kills a bunch of people, he's just crazy. Why is it that we are the only group of people in america forced to be homogenized? The crabs in a barrel mentality exists because crabs aren't meant to be in barrels. What you should ask is who put the damn crabs in the barrel and who's pulling them out? Think about it...

I know at times I have been accused of hating black men and to those that are hearing me instead of listening to me I still seem that way. I understand her hurt because until you know who you are as a person and are able to define yourself you turn your internal rage on others.

I have no issue with black men or men of any race cause there is no person on this planet that I have to deal with all my interactions with people are by choice.

I don't make sweeping generalizations other than in my witty sarcasm that I use at times to break the ice on touchy subjects.

My father is a black man I have lots of successful educated and influential black men in my life as well as many black friends. I never want to appear as someone who says it doesn't exist I just wish that more of them did.

Our youth are being raised to be a culture of ignorant disrespectful bastards that treat women like shit. I am harder on black men I think because I expect more from the if they knew the greatness they came from and what greatness is still being achieved they wouldn't disrespect themselves the way they do and definitely wouldn't be so disrespectful and hurtful to black women.

I don't excuse black women or trannies either because everyone has their part to play in how the male female interactions go. I can say personally that I rarely have any issue with black men approaching me any old kind of way cause I always let them know I love me enough so I dont need their love and or validation if you can't be an asset to my life your are unnecessary to it.

Any one who knows me knows not to approach me in any way that you wouldn't want someone to approach your mother.

I actually like black men alot and I know even a few men who come on the internet and act like pigs and jerks are completely different in their "real life" my only thing with that is eventually you start to forget whats real and whats not and the games people play on the net occasionally bleed over into their real life interactions.

Thats another reason I constantly remind men that TsSexyChanel is my job my name is Chanel Winn DeCarlo and that is who you are now speaking with and if you insist on talking to me in my real life like you are talking to TsSexyChanel then you need to pay me.

[TSSexyChanel]

first let me say that the b-more dude waxing poetic about crabs is irony that is not lost on me! Lol.. Secondly, i totally agree. I have always had issue with the "crabs in a barrel" metaphor, mainly because its supposition is that the other crabs want to hold you back, when logic should tell you they want to go with you. Perception is the cause for many a wrong ideology. Sometimes its best to the last crab in the barrel, at least then you have lived a little longer before being boiled and eaten by the masses at the harbor for the june crab fests!

and actually crabs do that on the beach as well during mating season pull each other back and crawl all over each other to get the best mates. Lol

[KitWilkins]

How the fuck does me not wanting to date every black guy i meet mean that i hate my race. I pretty much think being black is the best......hahhahaahahha.

Oh god and PLEASE i know who i am. i may be 20 but i definately know who i am

[TSSexyChanel]

and finally to Cosmic Night and Mr Knockout being labeled as and identifying with are two totally separate animals. While being born male and having to deal with what others saw when they looked at me never have I felt male.

Just like all the hats we have to wear in life due to shit that is out of our control transexualism is the same thing. Most of us know how to maneuver in life being many different things to survive.

I live by Les Browns statement don't let someone else's perception of you become your reality.

Gender goes beyond the sexual organs its in the brain as well thats why some girls would rather die than live their life with their offending member.

I just am glad that my family was supportive enough to get me counseling early in life and I was able to figure out who I was and why I was having these feelings so it really doesn't matter how many people look at me see a man and call me a man I know who I am and I should think that I have lived with me my whole life and most people only just met me that I know who I am better than they do.

I thought surgery was necessary to me living a happy life but I have made peace with the way I was born and am quite comfy being a woman that was born with a penis and I honestly wouldn't change a thing about my life because I got to live two lives while most of the world is still struggling to find one.

[TVSURFER]

As far as my family is concerned, I"m ADOPTED and no, my parents wouldn't have met eachother because they ran in very different circles and came from very different backgrounds. My mother upper middle class, my father from the projects. So please dont even come for my family like that when dont know anything about it.

Well, I'm glad you cleared up a few things, but this family thing came from your mouth, not anyone on this board!